Infinite Truths (Part 2: What happens when all HOPE is lost, when death seems imminent)

When all HOPE is lost

When all hope is lost, people die. well, the physical body dies; but the spirit & energy that was that person goes on... never to hold this Earthly form, ever again. When you allow yourself to believe there is nothing left, no hope of them coming back... then there is NOTHING left. When your own energy is given to accept those thoughts of despair and hopelessness, instead of entertaining the possibility that just maybe, there's still a chance... then the inevitable DOES happen, and your loved one dies.

I have been fortunate to have seen some amazing comebacks in my life. I have witnessed the miracle of human tenacity and perseverance. I have seen firsthand, and experienced it- personally, the impossible become a reality. I feel so sorry for those who haven't.

My experiences have allowed me to assist in channeling my energy to others for the express purpose of making "miracles". But my efforts can only go so far. If those I assist fail to believe, then all IS lost. I can do no more. To do so would be harmful to my OWN health and stability, a sacrifice I am no longer willing to make, as I have finally learned that it would just be in vain, anyway.

I try to educate those around me to understand that the human body is a vessel of insurmountable energy. The abilities of the human brain are still so far underestimated and not understood by the common man. This is a tragedy.

When caring for a "dying" person, there is a rule one should follow... it consists of a few "ance/ence" words plus the most important ingredient, TIME. In some cases, like cancer found too late, time is not a commodity these people have. But in cases where the person is relatively stable, even if artificially/medically assisted, then TIME becomes the key ingredient.

With TIME, wounds can and WILL heal. It is an absolute truth. And the healing CAN & WILL happen, without medical intervention, provided the patient is given that TIME to heal. The question, however, is how long are you or the person in charge of making the decisions, willing to wait for those wounds to heal? If your answer is less than 48 hours, then consider yourself a human incapable of & not suited for deciding the fate of someone else. Period. 

Trauma affects everyone a little bit differently. For the victim/patient/dying person, if allowed to rest for DAMNIT, AT LEAST 48 hours... the results would be REMARKABLE and nothing short of a MIRACLE. But it would ALL be just general SCIENCE. On the grand scale of everything, sometimes just waiting and observing can provide all the proof necessary to make a difference... a difference between life and death.

I said TIME was a main ingredient plus some ance/ence words... here's what those words are...

PATIENCE... You have to have enough patience to wait it out and to wait for them. They've been through some shit. They need to rest. They need time to heal. Do you have enough Patience to wait?

ENDURANCE... Each person's amount of time necessary to heal is going to vary. There is no way to predict how long it'll take before a substantial and measurable difference is noticed. It could be 24 hrs, it could be a week. If there is any remote sign that they are still in there, ask yourself... how much of your own energy and life force are you willing to contribute to their fight?

IGNORANCE... Oh, I can see this being misconstrued already. Perhaps I should say, BLIND IGNORANCE? Or maybe I'm just using IGNORANCE as a verb instead, like saying it as an act of ignor-ance of the facts and figures that the doctors provide about how unwell your loved one is doing. Like, if they say it's pointless,  but you're still within a 24 to 48 hour period,  ignore what they say will eventually happen. You DO NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT "NO" for an answer. You will know when they are ready to go.

VIGILANCE... You have to stay on top of it. Ask the questions, ask all the questions. Ask from doctors,  nurses, online forums. Find out what to expect. Speak to your incapacitated loved one, tell them what's going on. Let them know you're there and what you have found out &  what's necessary/going on on the outside so they can focus on healing on the inside. Numbers/stats are going to fluctuate. It'll get bad before it gets better. You may want to quit. But are they ready to quit? Or are they still responding in even the mildest form? Do not believe that it's all just bodily functions that are going haywire. Hospitals are objective, your loved one is a number, a bed chart... nothing more. Who is this person in the bed, to you?

BALANCE... In order to have endurance and patience and ignorance,  you need to have BALANCE... which requires you taking care of not only your loved one, but yourself, as well. If you're tired, you will make wrong decisions,  you're judgement will be clouded,  mistakes will be made. If your loved one is incapable of speaking for themselves and you find yourself in the position to make decisions for them, you do them an injustice by deciding shit when you're exhausted. If they have been stable for more than 12 hours, go take a nap... eat something... shower... revive yourself. The act of encouraging someone to reinhabit their body is an all out WAR. It's a war of wills. If you know for even a moment that that hand squeeze or eyebrow scrunch was more than a reflex, then fuck everything anyone tells you, doctors included,  and fight. Encourage them to fight. I'm not saying weeks and months and years,  I'm only suggesting a time frame of more than 24 hrs... 72, preferably. I understand everyone has a life outside of the hospital. I understand not everyone has the heart of a soldier/warrior... I'm just asking, what is this person's life worth? To you? To their kids? To humanity? 

CONFIDENCE... I don't care what God you believe in, if you believe in one or not... My beliefs- ONLY, dictate the severity of my efforts. I believe in the energy of positivity and encouragement. I KNOW that energy can be transferred. Whether through prayer to a God from a congregation that your loved one is a part of, or by you alone holding your loved one's hand as they walk through their own Valleys of shadows and death... the power behind confidently fighting with them will heal.

​ACCEPTANCE... There may come a time when no matter your best efforts, your loved one is ready to go. When they start failing, when they're no longer responding, when every option has been exhausted... you will have to accept that the fight is over. To be clear, if said person is stable, vitals are stable- regardless if it's because of a machine or not; if it HAS NOT BEEN AT LEAST 48 HOURS, then there's nothing to accept- yet. BUT, if their bodies begin to fail regardless of the machines keeping them alive/ prayers offered/ or your best efforts, then and ONLY THEN is when you can ACCEPT that they are ready to move on, and you can let go.

I'm not suggesting that you wait a week, or two months, or two years... that is besides the emotional pain to carry, an incredibly large financial burden, that I cannot rightfully suggest or demand you take on. All I'm asking for, for your loved one- on behalf of your loved one- is give them some time. 72 hours, tops. See if they are making any progress. Have they remained stable, even if on the machines? Are they maybe breathing with assistance but are pumping their blood with their own heart? Are they making facial expressions and eye movements and hand squeezes in "response" to you or another's presence?

The doctors & nurses are going to tell you that those are just natural body reflexes... especially if there is brain damage... but is it? Is it REALLY just the body twitching? I want you to think for a moment, about any person with a cerebral disease you may have seen/met, or a blind and/or deaf person, or a newborn baby... I can tell you now... if what you are witnessing in front of you looks like any of those people/examples I just used... then you really might want to reconsider the idea that their body is just spazing out.

That open-eyed stare where they are staring into space, but scrunch their eyebrows and "focus" on something you don't see... according to doctors- that's just a bodily reflex if that person is "brain dead", but is that what it is called if the person is someone with a severe case of Cerebral Palsy? And what are the facial expressions/eye focusings & wanderings called if the person is blind or deaf? And when a newborn tries to focus, or grasps your hand, or smiles- these are all just reflexes/instincts/ and gas- right?

That's all I'm trying to say. If those "reflexes" are not present, and it's been 72 hours, and/or their bodies are NO LONGER stable via every type of machine and/or drug intervention... then, you can accept that it is time to let go. 

BUT,

NOT. UNTIL. THEN!!!

Why? Why would I suggest something like that? What makes me think I can even remotely suggest to not listen to what the doctors are saying? Okay, first of all--- the doctors/hospital are getting paid, regardless. The longer your loved one stays, the more money they get. And also,  I'll repeat: Hospitals are supposed to be objective, your loved one is a number, a bed chart... nothing more. Hospitals are not in the business of selling "Hope".

Second, I want you to consider this...  The body is a crazy thing.  "LOWER" lifeforms can regenerate, and I know that we can too. Think of Starfish & Worms cut in half becoming two new individual starfish/worms, and Lizards with their tails breaking off, just to regrow again... And in Humans, we have many examples of regeneration happening, like when we break bones... the bones will regenerate. And hell, the best examples are of fetuses/ in vitro... when we're in the womb, we are connected to all of that primordial cosmic energy and DNA. That's why this "theory" isn't JUST for people who have a loved one in the hospital... it's also for pregnant moms out there who are being told their baby might not make it. I am very much Pro-choice, but, I would NEVER suggest someone terminate a pregnancy (or keep it) based on MY beliefs...  Another great example of the power of Human Will & Determination is EVERY SINGLE PERSON that has EVER sustained a brain injury (including myself, although mine was mild compared to millions of other people's) and has regained all that they had lost; whether it was loss of speech, or motor functions, or everything and anything in between... Think of people who have been "asleep", "brain dead", & in comas for years, but then came out of them...

My point is... that it took something huge & magnificent to get your loved one to where they are near death. Maybe it was an accident they were in, or a disease they are battling, or maybe it was a long addiction to drugs &/or alcohol... Whatever led them to where they are, they deserve a chance & some TIME to fight through it, from the inside, AND some time to REST. Think about it; when you're beyond exhausted... what do you want most? I know I've gotten to the point, mentally, emotionally, spiritually & physically, where I felt that I could and wanted to LITERALLY sleep for a week, or at least a few days: just knock me out for a bit, will ya, please?

Well, that's what severe trauma can do to a person. Everything can shut down, and if given the chance... it can reboot; yeah- just like a vacuum or a computer that has overheated, same thing. You just gotta give them some time to see if they're in there and if they're willing to come back. Life is already hard as it is, and some people don't even want to keep going when they are perfectly well & alive... so, yeah.

Anyway, that was my musing on this subject. I want to leave you with two separate quotes of mine that I'd offered to a friend recently...  

"Don't be scared. A 1% chance of anything has moved mountains."

and 

"Having courage against the greatest of odds is our hardest obstacle in life."

Be strong.