I'm Not Made of Concrete by F Mike Lee
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I’m beginning to develop a desire to read memoirs written by men of color and different backgrounds, other than the average white male. This book easily satisfies this new insatiable, growing, appetite.

Mike Lee tells his story with the beautiful & raw energy of a young man that hasn’t found himself or his purpose yet. He’s an arena football player, who, up until reading this book, I hadn’t heard of. But, I’ve looked into who he is, and yeah… people on the East Coast (N.C., etc.) know who he is. And I say this to illustrate that what he shares openly in this memoir, is made that much more poignant because he faces his demons, exposes his vulnerabilities, and doesn’t come to a pretty place at the end.

Instead, publicly (for anyone that read this book, at least), he airs out his darkest moments; battling anxiety & depression, sex addiction, alcoholism, and an overwhelming struggle and actual functioning companionship with suicidal thoughts & failed attempts. Perhaps that’s why I “enjoyed” this book, because I relate to every one of those struggles, but as a woman? The fact that he still lives and breathes, as of the date of this book review, is remarkable, and it gives me hope that there is so much more to this man & his future, to come. I can only pray that he finds that reason for being, soon.

There is plenty of adult content (sex, drugs, etc.) in here, and TRIGGER WARNINGS (suicide attempts, thoughts, mention of a friend who was sexually assaulted) should be mentioned, now. Plus, profanity is abundant. However, from reading the novel, Mike Lee appears to be an intelligent and articulate man that has an eclectic nature about him. His story, told by him from his POV, shows a man that is searching for answers, loves and trusts too easily (IMHO), and just really needs a hug.

Like, you can really feel, as is becoming apparent as I read more young men’s memoirs, that he never really had a loving and solid place in life, to begin with. To say that this book evoked my deepest compassion would be an understatement.

The copy I read of “Concrete” was poorly edited. In my usual fashion, I reached out to the author and am working to correct that issue. If you read (it) before the edits take place- please, read past the mistakes… read it like someone is speaking to you, speaking fast, and unloading their burdens. Sometimes, all we CAN DO is listen and bear witness to our brother’s pain.


View all my reviews

Future Perfect: A Skeptic’s Search for an Honest Mystic by Victoria Loustalot
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Number one, (her) writing is clear & concise; when she makes a point. Until that moment, she weaves together via bird-walking, short stories about herself; conversations she’s had with a friend(s); a conversation/lesson/or meeting with a mystic/psychic/or shaman etc.; some well-researched information and/or statistical data related to that chapter’s topic; and usually (maybe) a beautiful quote or two, either known or newly said by one of her many sources.

There are 32 chapters, split over 253 pages of what is meant to tell THIS woman’s spiritual journey, or start & progression of it, thus far.

*A quick side note: I only found ONE ‘typo’, and it wasn’t until Chapter 19, 1st page, where “I” was meant to be BEFORE “thought”, instead of after; which, for me who is CONSTANTLY marking the books I read and personally alerting authors/their editors of the ‘oopsies’, was impressive. Not because it just meant that she might have a great proofreader, but because I know from experience that when writing about one’s self and our stories, our pains and our passions… it causes us to lose some of the linguistical (<<
Anyway… this is a MEMOIR. Yeah, maybe you caught that in the book’s description. Maybe some folks didn’t? Reading through a couple reviews led me to think maybe they thought it was some type of self-help book; a Where to Find a Real Psychic in 2018 book? “The title was misleading”?? Um, no. Not at all. Ms. Loustalot LITERALLY talks about having been a skeptic of all things magic and/or religious since she was a little girl and realized Santa & the Easter Bunny weren’t real, and about what made her talk to a psychic in the first place, but also how the events of her life (intermingled with life in this current world in general) led her to want to know more and to question EVERYTHING.

This leads me to the political part of the reviews which I feel some people will have a hard time getting away from. So, I guess if you’re a hardcore Trump Supporter, who can’t for the life of them understand why ANYONE would feel unease at him being our President- then please, don’t bother reading this beautiful story. While Ms. Loustalot is clearly NOT a Trump Supporter and DID vote for Hillary, her political views not only are minimally discussed (there are 253 pages after all), but those views are EQUALLY JUST AS VALID as are her religious views, in a story about the twists and turns of life & her spiritual awakening, in a story… that is HERS TO TELL.

She does not write pages without end of her distaste for #45, merely mentions him and certain aspects of his administration that bother her, here and there. But she, just like a large number of Americans (not just Hillary supporters, but also former Trump Supporters), as well as people all over the world in many different countries, has a sincere dislike of (him). As it always is the case with all political leaders.

Someone’s political and religious views are respectfully THEIR OWN. She CAN voice her opinions, her distrust, and her concerns… in a book… about HER, all she wants. But, to rip her apart as just a sore Hillary Supporter/Buttercup, tells me the story was unfortunately read by someone with not only opposing political values than the author but also someone with a closed mind that, CLEARLY DIDN’T READ the book. Because that’s not what this story was about. At all. Really.

Ms. Loustalot has done a wonderful, sometimes heartbreakingly honest, job of exposing herself, her secrets, & her pain, but also her strength, her interestingly inquisitive mind, and her growing self-awareness and empathy, all while on a journey most people will never take, and if they do they’d rarely share it this openly.

Truly, shame on those who judge her as just a 30 something with ‘boyfriend angst’ or whatever… or really just judge her at all. There were many quotable spots that I’ve highlighted, that I will personally write to Ms. Loustalot myself, to express how they made me feel exactly; but this one, from one of her sources, a teacher/astrologer named Hunter, seems quite relevant to the point I’m trying to make:

“Shut up until you feel their suffering… If you can’t feel someone’s suffering, you’re not qualified to speak, because you are not fully comprehending who it is you are speaking to.”

(It’s) all about empathy. Listen and feel what they felt when they went through whatever it is that they did. We all have our own burdens to carry; some of us carry more, some less… but to actually FEEL each other’s journey, by simply listening, is the first step to repairing the bonds that make us human.

I intended to use that quote here, in a way, against those who actually judged her story- because, I mean- c’mon, really? Aren’t we supposed to be more civilized than that? What did you read/pick a memoir for if you weren’t going to have an open mind going into it? How do we begin to learn about each other & understand one another if we shut down and stop listening as the first opinion expressed or experience described that isn’t in line with our own, is uttered?

Realistically, all you can ‘ethically’ comment on as a fellow human being, regarding someone’s memoir, is:

-Grammatical/Spelling Errors? No (okay, just that one I mentioned)
-Hard to read? Nope, read it in one day
-Did you like the story? (Only a Yes or a No is acceptable here because the next question is almost definitely…)
-Why or Why not?

An honest review should be exactly that, honest… but with a bit of tact & decency. This is a Non-Fiction book; a story about a Real LIVING Person. To criticize the story as though this were some RomCom featured in a book club is disgraceful. Freedom of Speech/Freedom of Expression- yes, I get that… but a lot can be said for having a bit of empathy and keeping our humanity in check.

And yes, some people who actually READ it, won’t like this story because there are some events that take place in this woman’s life that could be triggers (sexual assault is discussed, there’s a memory of a molestation incident by a peer, there’s an abortion). Or maybe, and probably the most likely, and coincidentally, the ONLY TRULY ACCEPTABLE answer to “if you did or did not like someone’s memoir”: You couldn’t/didn’t relate. And that’s about as honest as you’d have to be, while still appearing to be a decent human being, publicly at least. Because NOT relating to someone is more than fine. There are billions of people on this planet, all with our own views of life & paths to venture.

It saddens me that when someone does open up their heart some of the first responders are some of the most vicious.

This was an enjoyable read. It was for me, easy to relate to in many ways. I commend the author for having the courage to ‘expose her vulnerability’as she did.

And just FYI… No, I didn’t get paid or asked to read this book; I selected it as my December First Read. No, I don’t know Ms. Loustalot (although, after reading her memoir, I’d truly like to meet her and compare notes). And no, I am NOT a Trump, Hillary, Bernie, or Mickey Mouse supporter, thank you, very much.

View all my reviews

https://amzn.to/2WkVwq5