So Much Division and Anger (or, Why My Kids Will Never Be Racists)

©T.B. Cooper

---

This year has been dominated by so much hatred, division, & violence.
This is my "rant," basically about pulling the "race/gender/religion" card, and how that's just not how I raise my kids.

I'm a Libra, so I'm diplomatic by nature...

I just wish the hearts of everyone who is hurting, could be healed by the amount of love and support that is pouring out from all over the world, by people who are truly capable of loving one another; by people who, like me, believe All Lives Matter... instead of listening to the people preaching violence in retaliation, and letting the anger & hatred fan the flames of revenge & perpetuate ignorance.

I love this one too.

One of my favorite quotes.

I wish there was equal justice for ALL, just like there should be equal RIGHTS for ALL.

So much media coverage of so much violence this year alone, a lot of folks don't even know who they're supposed to be mad at.

Meanwhile the conspiracy theorists claim the media is working with the government to distract the public from more pressing issues like who is running for President, as if that matters. Maybe that's true. Maybe not, but everything and everyone is important.
We can make a change, but as long as there is division in the world, there will be no unity.

(I used the following before on a Facebook post I wrote after the weekend of killings in Orlando (see below) . I feel it is just as relevant).

​​I don't care which God you pray to, or if you even pray. There are a lot of people in Louisiana, Minnesota, Texas... the World, right now, experiencing the loss of someone they love. Take a moment, and reflect on that, and however you want to send a kind thought to them, do it. ​They need it. Spread Love, Not Hate.

Anyway, I probably should've saved the previous thoughts for my closing statements, but this is a rant, after all. So it is not premeditated nor scripted. Hopefully it at least reads well. I saw this video from Trevor Noah of The Daily Show, and loved it enough to feel compelled to share my thoughts. I cannot emphasize enough how my heart aches for the pain and suffering that the families of the victims of the recent shootings/bombings/killings are experiencing, both the publicized ones and the non. May they find comfort and peace in their time of grief. And may they also know that as a community, as a society, we weep and grieve with them. Their loss is our loss. ​

​(Text from my original FB post):
​
"So, I don't care which God you pray to, or if you even pray. There are a lot of people in Orlando now, experiencing the loss of someone they love. Take a moment, and reflect on that, and however you want to send a kind thought to them, do it.
​They need it. Just in case there are people who aren't aware of all three tragedies... 1st, the world lost a lovely young lady, with a beautiful voice: 22 year old Christina Grimmie who was gunned down by a man that later took his life. Then, the tragic loss of 49 innocent people at Pulse Nightclub, and the death of the shooter who will never have to face justice from his peers.. and then finally, the death of a two year old boy from Nebraska visiting Disneyworld with his family, who was taken under by an alligator, that apparently no one knew was in the man-made pond...."

​So, This is WHY I love the Daily Show.
Jon Stewart was always spot on, and Trevor Noah is proving to be just as great! If you don't want to watch the whole thing, cool.
But do watch from 5:32 until the end. 

​Two very interesting points Trevor made:

#1 The outrage over killing a gorilla who was perceived dangerous, prompted "the powers that be (my emphasis)" to make the necessary changes to keep a tragedy like this from happening again. The point? One of the biggest Racial slurs against black people is calling them monkeys or gorillas. Yet for an actual gorilla, a large portion of the public united and cried out for justice.

#2 I forget what year he said, 2009? 2013, maybe... anyway he said that the Las Vegas PD recognized and publicly admitted there was a problem, and acknowledged that there was a potential bias for their officers to make quick, unwarranted, crass judgments against certain types of people. After admitting the problem, they ADDRESSED the problem, trained their officers differently, and since have experienced a 36% drop in officer violence towards "suspects." Now That's pretty significant.

I feel bad for Louisiana and Texas right now, those Southern States have always had such racial tensions... I'm afraid the pain & suffering will prolong any resolutions. But I am hopeful for Minnesota. Immediately following the death of Philando Castile, the Governor himself was demanding justice and reform, and admitting the fault of the Police Officer and the system itself. There ARE people who care and are willing to help others & love others equally. Unfortunately, that's not what we get to hear about. The media picks and chooses what we HEAR about, essentially dictating what our society CARES about.

I'm big on educating our children and not sheltering them. As a mother of a black man & a black woman, I know what might potentially await them in the future. I am terrified of not being able to protect them. But my kids' first experience with racism, came from my dad disowning me because I was a "Ni@@er-loving whore." I never kept that from them. I never lied and said he didn't want to see them for some other reason, other than the fact that he hated black people. I explained that he tried & failed to make me a racist and that in this world you'll find plenty of those kinds of people. 

But there's also plenty of people like me, that don't see color. I refused to continue the ignorance I was fed. I questioned the validity of my father's argument. Why am I supposed to hate someone because of the color of their skin? No reason he ever gave was good enough.
​(This btw, also extended to Jews and who knows who else?) I treat everyone equally until they cross me as an individual. And even then, I'm still capable of forgiving. Which is what I encouraged my kids to do when they finally met my dad when he was on his deathbed.

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." Mahatma Gandhi

I don't seek revenge. I just bank my Karma points. If someone is bad to me, I turn that pain into a love that I share with as many people as I can. I don't wallow in my grief or anger. I don't want to feel injured any longer than necessary. So I do good. Lots of it. Karma always takes care of the bad-doers. If you live in a hateful world, you die in a hateful world, alone. I teach my children to be good people to ALL people. AND I NEVER TELL them that the world is going to hate them simply because they look mostly black. I won't perpetuate anger and resentment. I will not send my kids out into the world with a chip on their shoulder like so many other parents do.
If people don't like you, who cares? You'll find enough people that do like you, for you. 

I love this Meme, I just wish there wasn't an apostrophe in "Its"

If you live in a hateful world, you die in a hateful world, alone. I teach my children to be good people to ALL people. AND I NEVER TELL them that the world is going to hate them simply because they look mostly black. I won't perpetuate anger and resentment. I will not send my kids out into the world with a chip on their shoulder like so many other parents do. 

​If people don't like you, who cares? You'll find enough people that do like you, for you.

 I have not, and I will not raise my kids to be afraid or to be a victim. You've got one life. You die when & how you are supposed to die. Of course, that doesn't mean to take stupid risks or to ignore completely the warning signs of possible danger or dangerous situations.
​
They should be vigilant at all times. ​

How powerful & smart is this? Brilliant.

My only job as a mother is to raise children that are logical, ethical, responsible & accountable for their own actions/choices, and capable of controlling their tempers and emotions, in a society of people that consciously & willingly segregate themselves. The moment you tell your kids they won't get somewhere because of the odds being stacked against them, you plant the seed of doubt that grows into hate, that creates a victim, that creates a person who feels inferior and worthless, never able to rise above their "place" in life. 

Shit happens.

​Life is gonna suck most of the time if you let negativity, superstition, and suspicion rule your life.
Why raise your kids with an automatic disability~with a crutch?
Is it not our job to raise the next generation to be able to stand on their own two feet?

Rant over.