So, as usual... I go looking for something online & elsewhere; can't find it after an hour or so... then I give up and just go ahead and make something myself...

That's what this post and PDF are about.

As you might be aware of, I have been hinting at and attempting to launch a new product line since earlier this year. And one of my hold ups has been getting the patent for it. Well, I qualify for the reduced rate for the Provisonal Patent Application, which basically gives me a year to get my shit together and submitted, along with the additional fees that will be required. Doing the Provisional Patent will allow me to have the "Patent Pending" wording on my new product, as well, so that's cool.

I've been sick for a few days and hence haven't been sharing much lately, but I wanted to definitely get this up, since it's ready to go.

It's not as pretty as I wanted it to be, but its purpose is really just meant to be a worksheet that I could use to brainstorm my ideas about how to describe my new invention, its purpose/suggested uses, etc. To be CLEAR, this IS NOT meant to be the final paperwork that I'd send in, instead it's JUST supposed to be something I can formulate my ideas through/with.

If you didn't know... I LOVE WORKSHEETS.

And this one is 5 Pages worth of semi-structured, guided thinking, helpful goodness!

​If you need something like this, or know someone who does, feel free to share!

Here it is...

Okay... am I a little biased? I mean, maybe. But, you could totally try out her products yourself and see what the fuss is all about,
and why I'd actually give a shout out to her, unasked, on MY WEBSITE...
Let me tell you, I wouldn't do it if the stuff this Kitchen Goddess makes wasn't more than great.

I've had the priviledge of knowing Leise (pronounced Lisa) Moffatt for nearly 2 decades, and I've always loved her cooking, and so has everyone else that I've met that knows her, even in passing. Some ladies just got it, ya know?

She's been canning everything for as long as I can remember, and the whole operation is like, 99% a one-woman (her) show.
She's a wizard in the art of making Jams, Jellies, Sauces... Teas, Oils, Salves... like, she does a lot, and she's a machine when she's working. 

If you live in Michigan, any where near Owosso, chances are you've met this woman and/or tasted some of her products at any of the craft fairs, witchy fairs (she does readings as well!), etc. in recent months. Lately, she has been extra busy and I'm so happy for her, and proud too. She's doing what she loves and what she is extremely good at.

*All pictures in this post, with the exception of the very last one, have links to her Facebook page.

Here's a list of her canned specialties
8oz -$7ea or 3/$20
16oz $9 ea or 3/25
SALSA 16 oz -$10
Discount for any 3 jars mix n match sizes.
Shipping & Processing extra.

Strawberry Syrup
Berry Burst Syrup (4 berry blend)
Winterberry Syrup
Strawberry White Zinfandel wine jelly 
BlackBerry Merlot wine jelly
Raspberry Moscato wine jelly
Peach Chardonnay Wine jelly
Cherry
Caramel Apple Jam
Spiced Peach Jam
Apple Pie Jam
Spiced Blueberry Jam
Boozy Salted Caramel Syrup
Chocolate Covered Cherry Syrup
Peppermint Mocha Syrup
Chocolate Coconut Syrup
Chocolate Orange Syrup
Hot Pepper Jam (think sweet n sour sauce)
Fire Fuzz jam -Peach jalapeno
Jalapeno jelly
Oops sauce- Asian Bbq stir fry sauce
Sweet & Spicy Relish 
Sweet Heat Hot Peppers
Pickled Peppers
Roasted Pineapple Salsa
Mango-Peach Salsa

I've tried at least 9 of these... The Boozy Salted Caramel Syrup & the Peach Chardonnay Wine Jelly are my personal favorites, and my boys really love the Caramel Apple Jam.

She also makes some beautiful Gift Baskets... prices vary from $7 to $21

The image below is "borrowed" from  Barbara Burstall. She shared it to Facebook, it went viral shortly after, and then she wrote about it on Apr 21, 2019. Click the image below to read her full article.

So... quick note... as far as what artwork is going to be available... this is what I've got going, so far...
You can Email me if you're interested so I can message you when they're finally available!

and, NO... this IS NOT my BIG Product launch I've been hinting towards... 
THAT is still set to launch in June!

Just a quick reminder that my book,
"Trying to find Love... Poems & Reflections of the Love that Made Me"
is FREE on Kindle, now until 11:59pm Friday, April 26th!

You can get your copy, here.

For details & a couple of excerpts to see what my book is about... click here.

**Clicking on the link below, might financially benefit me if your click becomes a purchase. Yes, I know, I totally used my affiliate link here, for my own book... probably tacky, no? Just use the one above the full cover image, if you prefer... it's not an affiliate link...

Let me know what you think? 

****Oh, and as a side note... there is probably still a typo where instead of "per se" it still says "per say"... I'm  well aware, and have attempted to fix it 4 times... I'm NOT worrying about that right now...

​But any other thoughts would be GREATLY APPRECIATED!!!

Yesterday, the 22nd of March, I was supposed to launch my new product line. Prior to that, I was supposed to give sneak peeks of what (it) is and make 2 commercials, as well.

Obviously, none of that happened.

Writing this now, both hurts, and feels like a bit of a relief, all at the same time. It hurts, because I really, REALLY HATE admiting a failure, to myself, let alone... to the WORLD.

I WILL NOT put on some air of calling myself 'brave'. 
I will NOT make a bunch of excuses for my inaction and inability to accomplish this goal. ​I WILL however, explain as truthfully as I can, WHY I "failed".

So... What were some hurdles I faced that kept me from releasing "on time"?

​Well, it all starts with having had no rest. Every so many years, we live through cycles... I'm sure you've heard lots of people talk about these cycles, or 'seasons' of our lives. Well, at the end of last year, 2018, a terribly rough cycle in my life finally came to an end. The best way I could describe it, is that by the end of the year, I'd finally hit the bottom of the lowest valley I'd ever had to travel through. Leading up to that moment, I was hurtling fast towards an end that wasn't going to be pretty. I was going to DIE. I wanted to die. Because of the unimaginable pain that I was carrying after years of disappointments and betrayals and strings of misfortune, everything just looked about as dismal and bleak as it could be.

The ONLY thing that kept me going was my absolute FIRM BELIEF that there is a definite balance in life... a law of balance that says that there is an equal amount of 'good' and 'bad' in everything. In every event lived through there are lessons to be learned. And that no matter how 'bad' or 'good' something is, once you've traversed through it, the opposite end will transpire. Meaning, that if I was living through an unbearable HELL, then, what awaited me on the other side was an absolute paradise of happiness and pleasure and abundance.

So, I kept telling myself I'd get through it, and that once I'd hit rock bottom, I could then enjoy rising back up, and be better for the experience. That was a HUGE PILL TO SWALLOW. I constantly felt I was feeding myself a world of bullshit. But, this has ALWAYS been my belief. It's what I've seen, it's what I've experienced, and now that I've lived through yet another round of Hell and rebirth, I still believe that when people say, "this too, shall pass," it is a TRUTH.

BUT, what I didn't allow myself, was to actually rest and repair myself. I've never stopped being busy. Where I had been busy keeping it together, now I was busy building it back up, but on top of a very thin and frail foundation.

Running full speed towards the bottom of a ravine, all I could see was darkness; but I knew that somewhere right above me, just out of view, was a beautiful light I'd eventually see again if I would just turn around. Well, now, I AM turned around and looking up, but it took me seven years to spiral out of sanity, so logically, it ain't gonna take a mere moment for me to climb back to the top... And NOT RESTING and recovering, is kinda stupid.

Speaking of "seasons", I've noticed as I've looked back and reflected on the years passed, that February and March are ALWAYS my hardest months. January I'm always so full of life and energy and ambition, then seasonal colds and flus happen which usually puts a bunch of stuff on hold... or it's rainy and wet and we can't do the things we need to do... or someone (everyone) in the house is feeling the effects of the "winter blues"... add in tax season and thoughts of things to resolve... in a family as large and grown as mine, it's kinda hard to get through, and all of that combined brings me deep into a suffocating depression.

Now, I don't personally like Spring and Summer, I'm more of a Fall & Winter person myself... but that's not who I live with. So when I'm like, "It's too fucking hot to do shit in the Summer, let's get our farm projects outta the way in the Fall & Winter when it's kinda nice to be out there," everyone else is like... no??? Um... yeah, so that tends to piss me off.

Ya know, we moved into this place back in 2011. That year itself was a close to another cycle. The year prior we'd buried ten family members which resulted in my mom moving in with us, and me(us) eventually gaining a daughter and a grandchild. After buying this place, my husband got laid off and I quit a job that was killing me. Then we were living dirt poor as we only had my mom's social security coming in. But, it was enough to pay the bills and we enjoyed the prospect of living our intended dream of "living off the land". The first two years were for the most part, great. Our kids were all still youngish, we had these great, romantic, aspirations of how our farm could be... then, a type of unending evil entered our lives, one that would continue to foster so much heartache and pain and resentment that our family almost fell apart.

Almost.

It wasn't just one thing, it was many... over and over again, and there was never any time to just breathe and recover before the next issue would come up. And the process would repeat, repeatedly... To say we were all tired and broken, is an understatement, and that's putting it lightly. BUT... we got through it. We are all in a good place now. Like I've said in a few of my posts on Instagram, Facebook and my podcast, things are better and the worst is over. Yes, there'll still be challenges I'm sure, but the collective energy has been shifted into one of optimism & happy excitement. We've gotten rid of so much bullshit and thrown away the things in life we don't need, on a spiritual & emotional level...

So, why didn't I launch yesterday?

Because some habits are hard to break. When I say that I need to be left alone, I am still a mom, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend, a Spiritual coach & advisor, a farmer... And where I'd love to stick to my resolve and tell everyone to, "fuck off and leave me alone, I'm working, here!" I still have the position of being needed in some form or another. I have loosened my reins, so-to-speak, the ones where I have to be micromanaging everything, and so my kids that are older now don't "need" me (as much), and many decisions and tasks can be done on the farm that I don't have to oversee (as much), but I'm still exhausted. I have yet to rest.

When I decided to launch my products, I wanted to do a Spring launch in time for the Spring Equinox, because... why not? It sounded good, but I was not, am not, ready. I wanted to have plenty of product ready to sell when orders started to come in, since it is a handmade item and takes some time to produce. I wanted to have a commercial (or two) filmed and ready to air because just pictures of the product would NOT do the product justice. I also needed to have a bank account to accept payments and apparently a prepaid debit card isn't sufficient, and I haven't had a bank account since I quit my job in 2011... that part I only just found out, and is a somewhat easy fix.

But I also needed to get my product patented prior to sale, and honestly... I have NO FUCKING CLUE how to do, and no desire to learn how to do it. It's one of those things I'd rather pay an experienced lawyer to do. I've spent the last 7 years doing legal paperwork shit and fighting legal battles that I'm so done with that shit for a while. But, lawyers cost money, and I was hoping we'd have that money by now via a small settlement we were expecting, but apparently having settled a case doesn't mean shit timewise and we are still waiting... So, I decided in the meantime, that I'd do a Provisional Patent application. That would give me a year to either find a lawyer to complete it or finally bite the bullet myself and just suck it up and just do it.

But, I haven't even done that because to be honest, the thought of doing it and doing something wrong, makes me sick. I've chewed my nails to the skin just trying to stay distracted from the stress. And yes, a part of me HAS avoided taking the leap and just launching and doing everything I needed to to launch, by either trying to sleep or smoking way too many cigarettes when I am simply done with being interrupted by somebody or something, religiously, like, every 7 minutes, every. single. day.

They say that when you are on the right path, everything will get in your way to try and deter you from succeeding. This has been true every single fucking step of the way in my life whenever I have attempted to do WHAT I LOVE... blogging, writing, farming, milking my sheep, making my products... even homeschooling. In fact, the ONLY two things that I LOVE doing, that I have NEVER been kept from doing were/are parenting my children and countless others AND ANY KIND of spiritual work/coaching/advising etc....

Maybe it was, or is, because me launching a product and all of the other shit & then some, wasn't ever a matter of life or death. Like, I wouldn't PHYSICALLY die if I didn't blog or publish a book, ya know what I mean?... But I DO die, inside. Every TIME, little by little. My resolve, my strength, my belief in me, dies. That inner part of me (her name is Tania, btw), just screams at me that I've once again, made a promise to her that I never intended on keeping and the disappointment that I feel is truly lethal.

But, I do have a motto, "If I can be a Happy Bitch, then so can you."

And that's my motto for a reason. I tell Tania when she is angry with me, that our life will begin when it is time, to just be patient. Like wanting to have another kid, it wasn't the right time, hasn't yet been. We'd have to pay a few thousand dollars to get my tubes untied and with everything we've been through, having a baby through all of that, now, in hindsight, is frightening. I'm GLAD we didn't do it yet. And I do say, yet. Sure, I'll be 40 this year, and I am just now finally in a position to eek out a bit of "me time" here and there to where I can build a career and whatever, and a baby is just kind of a crazy & insane idea to add to an already full life. So, that little guy will have to wait just a bit longer to arrive, if ever.

I spent the first ten years of our marriage wanting to have a baby with my husband, while he was still an alcoholic (he's been sober since August) and we had all these other troubles bombarding us from every angle, and he was NEVER as excited about the idea as I was. Now that he is sober and realizes that we have a wonderful life, now HE WANTS A BABY??? Homie, you gonna have to wait. I myself, did my waiting... in Azkaban. 12 Years of it. Truly.

So, all of this leads me to yet another reason why I feel that I shouldn't beat myself up about not launching yesterday... There's still more involved; more to the story...

I'd mapped out this year at the tail end of last year, as far as what I wanted to get done, in a somewhat reasonable timeframe. I'd launch my first phase of products in March, the 2nd phase in June, and two seasonal short lines in September and November. Plus, I'd publish (finally) Book 1 of The Breeding Program on October 8th, a Tuesday, because books release on Tuesday and it's the day after my birthday, so why not? right?

*That BTW has changed recently as I have been pulled instead, to finish Book 1 of The Hollow Mists Series, release date WILL be October 1st of this year, since it is actually a few days after my MC's birthday and coincides with the Inciting Event date in the story... Plus, I finally listened to the strong call I had to get back to that story and realized I only had 6 chapters left to finish it! Which is COMPLETELY doable by August, in time to have some Beta readers look it over and then finish editing it, etc. in time for its release date... Any takers for ARCs??

I'd finally publish Book 3 of my Spotted Bag Series (under the pen name of Dirty Foot Butterscotch), in September, as well as maybe a Nonfiction book or two about my Spiritual journey & the work that I've done with others and what not... I'd also fire back up the Tentaglian Empire series/newsletter. And ALL of this sounded completely reasonable. That is, if you live on Centaurian time where there are 37 hours in a day... So, maybe I planned too much?

In all honesty, this was a MUCH SMALLER LIST of shit to get done than I'd originally had. I revised that list probably 18+ times; shaving it down to what I really felt was simply just "not enough". But that's because I can finally see the light again! And my optimism is brilliantly energizing. I'm fucking happy every day. Well, except this current month. I do the "Year in Pixels" thing, and like, January & February were all mostly Pink (Amazing, Fantastic Day), where as March has had fewer than 5 of those. The rest have been every shade of Depressed, Angry, Exhausted, and my favorite, "Fuck it All" days... And why? Because I wasn't "just going with the flow".

​I was resisting the fact that everything was telling me and showing me that I would accomplish what I'd set out to do, but that I shouldn't rush it, even though I'm Russian, lol (sorry, couldn't resist the pun). I kept fighting it and making myself believe the lie that if I DIDN'T launch on the 22nd of March, then I'd be a failure and I'd NEVER do it or anything great, like, ever. So, I gained 20 pounds, in the last 35 days... stressing and literally killing myself because every door that I tried to pry open to reach my goals was locked or stuck. That's insane. That's not healthy. I started hating my family again... hating my husband... hating ME... And why? Because I was too blinded and exhausted to see that something SO BIG needed a little bit more time to grow than I was giving it.

So, I'll launch in June, in time for the Summer Solstice, both parts of my product line. I know, I'm being kinda vague about WHAT my product actually IS... But, anyway, there is a phase one and a phase two. At least, that's how I'd planned it, but the more I think about it, it doesn't make any sense to do it that way. Obviously, when I FINALLY reveal what exactly it is I've made, it'll make sense to everyone else, but what I can say is that it would be the equivalent to Salt with no Pepper, or Peanut Butter with no Jelly, if I actually had launched Phase 1 without the corresponding, Phase 2 to go with it.

So, that's what I'm doing. And June gives me that much more time to reallign with my goals now that I know there was a reason for my  perceived 'failure'. And funny thing is, on the radio, on Thursday as I was deciding all of this, I heard the name of a Patent Lawyer whose name just so happens to contain the name of part of my products. Coincidence? I think not.

I'm sorry if I have disappointed any of you, believe me, I'm hard on myself enough, for it. But, I had to be completely honest. It wasn't for a lack of trying, and I CERTAINLY haven't been lazy or idle. Only my product line and my new podcasting series has suffered, oh yeah and, my health, too, right? I have been active on the farm (we did finally get cows!), I'm still active with mentoring a handful of people, in their spiritual paths, my family has fallen back in love with each other, my house is clean and organized... and that's just a small part of the bigger picture... I'm still going forward, I'm still gonna have an amazing year, and the 20% discount code I posted to Instagram will STILL APPLY, for anyone that has been following. Besides, in 2016, when I took the leap and started blogging and writing, April through Spetember were my BEST months... that's because it was too FUCKING HOT to do anything outside, duh?? So I wrote and I typed, and then by November my life went to hell as we went from 9 people to 15 and I had to give up my space. Now, however, I have an office with a door that I can lock, and my garage is a great workshop space. Plus, emotionally & spiritually, I AM STABLE. And, I AM HAPPY. 

So here's to making progress and accepting the smaller defeats on the way to success. I hope all is well with you and I'm still as excited as ever to share what I've been working on!

​Stay tuned...?

​Btw, I really went kinda buckwild with the GIFs. I had fun! :D