The Subatomic Witch's Blog
Spiritual Healing & Guidance for those who can feel there is something more out there for them than what they've been sold.
I've tried a few times over the last YEAR to update, blog, get back to blogging/teaching, etc... and I have failed miserably, each time. There was a time when I knew myself. And it's not that I'm sitting here NOT knowing who I am; instead, I'm just not liking this new, broken version of me. Like, at all. Does this mean I can't teach you how to find yourself? No. Of course I still can. Just don't expect it to be a pleasant journey along the way. The more truth you are exposed to, the less recognizable your life becomes. I feel at this point I want to write my masterpiece and call it, "How to give a shit when you don't, by hoping one day you actually will." I'll let you know how that pans out, okay? Lol? Anyway... I just thought that I'd say "hey!" and "I'm still alive (whatever that means?)" and also... I was reading through my notes the other day for the PRMseries and I swear, I don't even know who the hell wrote it? I mean, I KNOW I DID, but unfortunately... and just fyi, I'm bawling like a fucking baby as I type this right now... I've just lost so much of myself over the last decade, and the majority of it went real quickly the whole year of 2019.... So. I WANT to finish this series, at least the Numerology portion which by my calculations has at least 3 MAIN lessons left before we can move on, but... I don't know that I have it in me anymore. Some days, I can barely get up to feed/water my farm animals. My body is trying to kill me from the inside out. My endometriosis has spread up passed my diaphram up around my heart & lungs and into my arm muscle/tissue. And some days, I swear it's already in my brain. This physical pain, combined with a mental and spiritual break and a second concussion last year plus so much other bullshit has left me feeling helpless and unmotivated. But hey... I have been on Twitter, even if I've been nowhere else for a while, I've posted some YouTube videos, I've updated my merch, and I've never left Pinterest, although I'm hardly ever on FB or Instagram, and I started reviewing books again... So I haven't competely given up, I guess? Anyway... this was really just to say hey and hope everyone is doing alright/as best as they can. Love you.
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January 2022
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