The Subatomic Witch's Blog
Spiritual Healing & Guidance for those who can feel there is something more out there for them than what they've been sold.
9/1/2020 0 Comments
Just in time for the Season of Libra and the Autumn Equinox...
(Actual Post Date of 9/22/20 at 7:01PM PST... Forgot to change the date before posting!)
From worldnumerology.com: "The influence of the Balance Number flutuates depending on how "balanced" you are."
From the same site: "Usually, the Balance Number is more or less dormant. But it comes to the foreground and its influence becomes significantly stronger when you go through emotional turmoil, the Balance Number becomes important."
IMO, that could've been worded a bit better, but hey, I didn't write it AND I'm NOT the expert... Um, plus I've kinda been MIA for more than a year and the world is currently falling apart at the seems... so who am I to judge?
Yeah... so, looking at where I'm at right now; 40, broken, dead inside, learning to live and give AF again after some major dying/rebirth events recently that pretty much rounded out the end of the last decade- quite nicely (yeah, not really), I'd HAVE TO SAY- this description of a Balance Number (BN) TOTALLY MAKES SENSE...
I'd thought it did when I first started writing/making this course, but now... the message of my Balance Number (9, btw) is CRYSTAL CLEAR, and I really have to say that I'm kinda really happy with how THIS number (Balance Number) is the Lesson I am starting this course back up on. I am after all, a Libra, so balance is sort of my thing...
Does this mean I'm going to live to be 80, & 40 (when this 'rebirthing' thing came to a head) is my midpoint?
Maybe? Who knows?
However, upon further reading and finding out what my personal Balance Number of 9 means--- I'd have to say that I reached THAT point in my life, a while back, and BECAME THAT NUMBER. Now what, am I supposed to go back to the OLD ME?
Or, maybe... maybe that's the PART of ME I NEEDED to KEEP?
Yes, I believe that's it...
After all that I've been through; the dying inside and self-loathing over the last few years, ultimately... I am who I am. And when I first started blogging & doing this website in 2016, I was aloof & introverted. I thought I was arrogant & self-centered, every time I gave myself praise... because society doesn't like (didn't like) when you do that. And the very last line of my description paragraph for my number, is where I finally had my epiphany, "You will receive from giving to others," and well, shit...
THAT'S EXACTLY WHO I AM and WHO I'VE BEEN- forever.
I've just really felt during the process of soul-dying & re-awakening, that I have nothing left to give. Yet... I've NEVER stopped giving... EVER. My methods changed and my boundaries have become far more defined as I've gone through all of this, but at my core---
I'm still that selfless giver.
I'm just not a MARTYR anymore.
That part of me is dead and gone.
Because of this lesson right here, as I write these words... I KNOW this to be true (8:04 pm PST 8/28/20)
May YOU, too, find your true self and rejoice.
Okay... enough heavy shit. Let's get back to the lesson...
So, for most of this lesson, we will be using a different site, called "sunsigns.org"
From their website, a further description of the Balance Number (BN):
"What Is Balance Number In Numerology?Different people react differently to the challenges they face in life. Some people have the habit of withdrawing from difficult situations to think about the problems thoroughly; others withdraw from their emotions, to escape from feeling anything. Some people explode with emotions, but allow the explosion to pass quickly.
Others linger with their feelings, thinking about them internally. You need to show more maturity and self-development to learn new and more effective methods of handling the world and the problems we confront. In this context, your Balance Number guides you on how best to deal with difficult or threatening situations.
This numerology number tells you about the difficult times you would face in your life. You also know about the best way to use your abilities to face the various challenges in life and how to handle the difficult times."
Great. Now here's some instructions for the attached PDF for this lesson...
For the first part of Lesson #7, you will use the sunsigns website and as a warm-up to get back into this course, you will start by copying down & changing each sentence within your specific Balance Number description, into "I am" type statements;
marking if you agree or disagree with each one.
Again, this is just a warm-up.
**Perhaps because of where I've recently been on my own mental & spiritual journey, I have this new perspective of the BN that honestly, I'm not so sure I would've been able to "teach" nearly as adequately last year, prior to my complete collapse into abject darkness.
Oh, and did I mention? This lesson will also feature a crossover lesson into ShadowWork, completely BECAUSE of my own journey through the darkside.
LINKS & PDF
Anyway, there are instructions on each page within the lesson for each part.
You will need these following links...
First Link, sunsigns.org Numbers 1-4
Second Link, sunsigns.org Numbers 5-9
Third Link, worldnumerology.com Meaning of Single Digit Numbers
Other links mentioned...
ShadowWork Lesson #1
Bonus Lesson, Labels
Below is the PDF for this lesson
As always, as before, if you have any questions, please contact me- I'd LOVE to chat. Email works.
I'm also on Twitter, like, ALL the time, lol. More than any other platform really. So by all means, holler at me over there.
Both links can be found at the top of this blog post.
Lastly... I do apologize for the long gap between lessons. As of this moment, I see just two more lessons for Numerology, for now;
Karmic Debt and Karmic Lessons, before moving on, temporarily/for awile, to Astrology. I am feeling a bit better as far as being up for these lessons... so-to-speak. So here's hoping I can pull that off.
All my smiles and love to you my darling friends. Be kind.
I've tried a few times over the last YEAR to update, blog, get back to blogging/teaching, etc... and I have failed miserably, each time. There was a time when I knew myself. And it's not that I'm sitting here NOT knowing who I am; instead, I'm just not liking this new, broken version of me. Like, at all. Does this mean I can't teach you how to find yourself? No. Of course I still can. Just don't expect it to be a pleasant journey along the way. The more truth you are exposed to, the less recognizable your life becomes. I feel at this point I want to write my masterpiece and call it, "How to give a shit when you don't, by hoping one day you actually will." I'll let you know how that pans out, okay? Lol? Anyway... I just thought that I'd say "hey!" and "I'm still alive (whatever that means?)" and also... I was reading through my notes the other day for the PRMseries and I swear, I don't even know who the hell wrote it? I mean, I KNOW I DID, but unfortunately... and just fyi, I'm bawling like a fucking baby as I type this right now... I've just lost so much of myself over the last decade, and the majority of it went real quickly the whole year of 2019.... So. I WANT to finish this series, at least the Numerology portion which by my calculations has at least 3 MAIN lessons left before we can move on, but... I don't know that I have it in me anymore. Some days, I can barely get up to feed/water my farm animals. My body is trying to kill me from the inside out. My endometriosis has spread up passed my diaphram up around my heart & lungs and into my arm muscle/tissue. And some days, I swear it's already in my brain. This physical pain, combined with a mental and spiritual break and a second concussion last year plus so much other bullshit has left me feeling helpless and unmotivated. But hey... I have been on Twitter, even if I've been nowhere else for a while, I've posted some YouTube videos, I've updated my merch, and I've never left Pinterest, although I'm hardly ever on FB or Instagram, and I started reviewing books again... So I haven't competely given up, I guess? Anyway... this was really just to say hey and hope everyone is doing alright/as best as they can. Love you.
8/2/2019 0 Comments
Slightly annoyed, maybe? No, that's the wrong kind of energy; sorry.
Instead, let me say that I wrote this post on the 17th of July, and I am only JUST NOW getting the PDF finished and this lesson up.
But, let me NOT waste anymore time. Yours or mine...
Here's what I'd originally typed out.
O.P. typed July 17th, 2019
Alrighty. I'm back. It's been a minute, I know... sorry. Like I've said in the last few posts, I've been going through some shit and it's been a bit rough. I'm strong and I am awesome, but being that way- every day- takes it's toll.
I was physically forced to listen to my body and soul and I ended up just sitting with the emotions, etc. and everything else that comes from burnout/depression/disappointment/ & being overwhelmed.
It's important for me to say that, because I'm not trying to be this fake ass bitch that pretends to be happy & on top of the world all the time. I HAVE been doing good at keeping those feelings at bay for many months, but the past month & a half have knocked me on my ass.
Every experience has a message... this one was to just sit & be patient and RELAX; something I have an EXTREMELY HARD TIME DOING. And, to be honest, if I'd listened earlier I would've heard that message clearer, but... I'm extremely stubborn. So, it took me that long to go through this lesson. It's like that sometimes, right? Some things take longer to learn than others.
Well, so here we are, FINALLY... LESSON #6, your Hidden Passion Number.
So what is your Hidden Passion Number (HPN)?
For me, I like to describe it as the meat closest to your bones, or, more like your bone marrow. This number doesn't get as much attention as your 5 core numbers (Life Path, Expression/Destiny, Soul Urge/Heart's Desire, Personality, or Birth Date Day), but for me, I think that's an unfortunate oversight. Your HPN is your "dark side", your inner self. This number reflects your trigger points... the qualities that you possess that'll make certain things in life light a fire under your ass, so-to-speak.
In regards to your Personal Road Map, knowing your HPN would be beneficial because you'd be able to look at where you're going and be able to see what possible stops you should avoid or at least be prepared for... like avoiding a certain gas station with notoriously long lines or expensive fuel rates because you know those will just piss you off. But, it's also not about what to avoid, it's also much like a combo between the Expression/Destiny Number & your Soul Urge/Heart's Desire Number, in that it's about what you're good at doing, but also LOVE doing, naturally. The HPN is to me, a truly important clarifier.
HPN is described as a hidden talent that you have; something that you're extremely good at to the point that this expertise will drive you in your life.
Now, I'm no Numerologist; so far be it for me to suggest that "their" definition isn't correct. I just personally feel, after reading MY OWN HPN, that the common description isn't apt enough.
Well, you can see for yourself as we do the lesson...
In the attached PDF, there are 3 links mentioned. For the sake of time, I will just list the links here.
Everything else is (hopefully) explained well enough in the lesson/pdf, itself.
But, as always... if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to comment here on this blog post, or contact me, here.
If you'd like to sign-up for updates on this course, please visit the front page of my site.
Here are the following links you'll need...
Link #1 to worldnumerology.com (Hidden Passion Numbers)
Link#2 to freetarot.com (Hidden Passion Numbers)
Link #3 to worldnumerology.com (Single Digit Numbers)
You can download the PDF for today's lesson, below.
Click on the pictures below for quick access to previous lessons...
Check out my Pinterest Board "Dancing Naked" for lots of ideas and inspiration in all things Witchcraft...
All About Me A Life Worth Living Announcements Better Deep Thoughts Getting To Know Thyself Getting To Know Thyself Better Getting-to-know-thyself-better Infinite Truths Lesson With FREE PDF Musings New Moon Reflection Personal Road Map Course Shadow Work